Wandering Home

We are used to hearing, “mi casa, su casa”, in circumstances of beautiful acts of hospitality when the doors of one’s home, (or the plates of one’s cupboard, the gas in one’s tank, the toilet in one’s bathroom) are offered generously from one to the other. (My friend Genevieve, and I, have so gratefully received such generous acts recently from family and friends, now having dubbed ourselves the “professional leaches”.)

Yet when it comes to the boundaries of our Heavenly Father’s casa, all walls are broken down. I am learning more and more, especially over the course of the last one and a half years, that no matter the physical address or where I find myself on this earth, I will always have a home, and can always feel like I am home. This is because home is where the heart of Jesus is found. They say there exists a heart of the home (and if you’ve ever had my mom’s beef stew, you’d know why it’s the kitchen), but what if home is at the heart? His heart. The one glimpse of this most merciful and all-loving heart that we have on this earth, besides being in the Eucharist, is within the human soul. 

The human soul, a place where time meets eternity. And because God created it reflecting Himself, there we can find Him. This allows for so much freedom! When we recognize the presence of our Lord within, the inklings of the Holy Spirit, and trust that He will guide our hands to work and our feet to move better than we ourselves will, life becomes an adventure impossible to turn down. This acceptance does not guarantee stability or freedom from suffering. It gives our suffering meaning. 

I have realized that the last couple years of my life have known very few consistencies, with major changes impacting my family, a big move to a slightly different altitude, and an ever-changing bed. These are only a few of the changes potentially affecting post-grad adults. 

These transitions may hit rapidly like a baseball, or may approach gently like observing a snow melt on the mountains, but regardless, praise Jesus for His stability. His stability allows me to be unstable, and to have so much peace. His consistent, pursuing fiery love allows me to roam and to be okay with it, because I am assured that He is there. Where? Within. Henri Nouwen said, “ It is not even enough that He [Jesus] is my companion on my journey, my friend and my brother. He should be heart of my heart, lover of my soul, fire of my life, bridegroom of my Spirit…my only thought, my only concern, my only desire.” 

Let Him be this for you! Allow Him to shatter your internal walls and encapsulate your wandering heart to become your stable home. A Home that does not change and forever holds you warm and tight. 

Truly, His casa, is the best casa. 

“Nothing can be predicted. Yet all is already held safe in the divine embrace that holds me still.” -Henri Nouwen

- Jocelyne Kleinsmith